It seems that for most of our life we search for a romantic partner, someone to share our life with; but once we have found that special someone it doesn’t always end the loneliness. In fact I feel that if you are in a relationship where you are not connected to your partner emotionally, you can end up feeling frustrated, lonely and left with an incredible emotional hunger.
When you start to suffer from the symptoms of emotional hunger it is really important to do something about it, because as we all know hunger will quickly escalate to starvation. Emotional hunger in a relationship occurs because one or both partners are not getting their core emotional needs met. When a core need isn’t met it can lead to feelings of disconnection, emptiness, anger, resentment, anxiety, depression and a whole host of other negative emotions and ultimately it will lead to dissatisfaction with the relationship.
From an Emotional Detox and Holistic healing perspective it is considered that most negative emotions are held in the body and that these need to be released in order for a person to improve their physical, psychological, sexual and emotional life. Mal Weeraratne, founder of Tantric Journey and expert in emotional release through bodywork explains that ‘when we undergo an emotional detox the feelings of emotional hunger dissipate because healing and balance is achieved’. Indeed this viewpoint is supported by the work of the late Dr Candace Pert, a molecular biologist who was a key figure in the discovery of the endorphin molecule, the body’s natural form of morphine, conducted an indepth study into the way in which emotions are stored within the body at cellular level. She wrote a book, called ‘Molecules of Emotion’, in which Pert offered a clear account of her research and findings and explains that our bodies and minds are not distinct from each other, instead they function together as parts of an interconnected system.
Mal explains ‘’that as a Tantra Master for over twenty years I have been really interested in helping people to gain release from negative trauma and transform their life. I believe that everyone holds great capability for overwhelming joy once emotional blockages are removed. I know that some people still cringe when they hear the word “tantra.” Indeed, there are a lot of misconceptions about what it is and how to do it. It’s not as out-there as some people still think and it’s certainly not about all night sex sessions. Instead it’s simply the process of slowing down, being more present, and actually connecting. You can use Tantric practices to release stuck negative emotions, to become more connected and awakened; to improve your health (in all areas) and your relationships.
Sexual energy naturally resides within us as a life-energy force that is positively charged, by harnessing this sexual energy the whole body can be invigorated and negative emotions can be released. Tantra is a way of life, an attitude, a commitment to being awakened and aware in every moment, not just in your sexual life.’’
It is certain that in the whirlwind of modern life it is so easy to neglect our personal relationships and to not have the time to identify what is missing or analyse why we feel ‘needy’, neglected’, ‘low’, etc., so Mal’s suggestion of taking time to concentrate on both your relationship with yourself and that with your partner seems sensible.
If you are emotionally hungry, then Mal suggests that Emotional Detox through bodywork may be key to solving this problem and there is plenty of details about this in his book, ‘Emotional Detox through Bodywork’, which is a self help guide for men, women and couples. However, if you feel that your problems are not just down to you, but that your relationship needs a spring clean and shake-up then you might like to learn how Tantra can be your best ally.
So how can Tantra help you and your relationship?
Tantra takes the pressure off performance and puts the focus on connection
While Tantra can mean more orgasm that goes beyond the genital area, Tantra’s focus in on pleasure and emotional release – not the goal of orgasm. Tantra helps experience bliss and connect with your partner, helping you let go of negative sexual beliefs, increasing intimacy and bringing heightened erotic sensation through your whole body. The sexual energy generated will help you to invigorate your whole body.
Tantra helps you feel calmer & feel more relaxed
Tantra incorporates yogic practices and also involves a kind of meditation. This helps us to introduce stillness and calm into our life and look at things rationally.. This increased inner peace makes you more able to handle stressful situations and less likely to make rash decisions or argue with your partner.
Tantra focuses on intimacy – not sex
Through a wonderful combination of loving touch, soulful sex, eye contact and open-hearted connection, Tantra helps you discover deep intimacy in and out of the bedroom. Men and women who practice Tantra are more able to talk about their emotions and connect with their heart which can only help connection and help to feed emotional connection.
Tantra helps you be more present with your partner
If you ever feel like your partner just isn’t listening to what you’re saying, then you’ll know just how hurtful, upsetting and damn frustrating it can be. When you feel that your partner is not present or when you find yourself being disconnected it can be a really negative element in a relationship. Tantra gives you tools to become present and mindful with each other – leading to deeper intimacy and connection.
Tantra can give you more energy
By using massage, stretching and deep breathing, tantric practices get blood, oxygen and energy moving through the whole body. Tantra harnesses sexual energy and because Tantra teaches men how to orgasm without ejaculating, they can have incredible orgasms without the tiredness and resultant deep sleep that can follow soon after.
You need to start your Tantric Journey by deciding to jump on the Tantric bandwagon and there are lots of great books and websites out there to help you start reading up on the subject. You don’t even have to involve your partner to begin with. In fact it can be really useful to know how to practice Tantra alone, even when we have a partner available. For men, it can be easier to learn how to control ejaculation by practising alone at first, whilst for women, exploring your own body without consideration for anyone else can be key to learning to receive pleasure and understanding what gives you pleasure.
If you are ready to begin your journey – book a session with Mal by clicking here