According to an analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her book The Case of the Female Orgasm, 50% of women have orgasms sometimes, 20% seldom do and 5% never have orgasms.
The results of this study are perhaps not surprising as despite women portrayed in popular media which are rarely if ever portrayed as having orgasm issues, many real life women often tell a different story. Women who do experience problems with orgasm can often feel isolated and can be left feeling that there is something wrong with them leading to them suffering confidence and self esteem issues. The fact that popular media rarely portrays any problems with female orgasm, means that it can cause problems within a relationship with a male partner feeling he is doing ‘something wrong’ and a woman feeling she is somehow dysfunctional.
A study carried out by researchers from the Italian Centre of sexology and the University of Florence caused a media stir when they suggested that there was no such thing as a vaginal orgasm. Writing in the journal Clinical Anatomy, the authors of the study say the majority of women worldwide do not have orgasms during penetrative intercourse: “Female sexual dysfunctions are popular because they are based on something that does not exist; the vaginal orgasm.”
The researchers say many men think long intercourse is the key to female orgasm, but this is not necessarily helpful to women, some of whom “may be grateful to get it over with quickly”.
Author and Tantric Master, Mal Weeraratne explains that he has treated thousands of women from around the globe that, ‘couldn’t feel pleasure because their yoni’s [vaginas] were completely numb and many of these women found sex uncomfortable or even painful’.
Mal explains that many of the women he deals with have ‘lost their desire for sex, have been abused, hold negative views about sex such as guilt or shame. Or they are fearful, uncomfortable or think that there is something wrong with them because they don’t feel the pleasure that they hear other women talk about or they read about in the media’. Mal goes onto explain that the researchers have missed a really important fact and this is that ‘’women have more orgasmic potential then men’’. He explains that ‘the fact that a woman doesn’t orgasm or experiences difficulty achieving orgasm isn’t a reflection upon her ability to orgasm because women have great potential to orgasm. What research is failing to recognize is that there are many types of orgasm not just that at genital level and that orgasm is not merely an anatomical matter. ‘’ going on to reveal that ‘a Woman’s orgasm is not located purely in the genital region like that of a man. Instead women’s orgasms can occur anywhere in the body, for example they can orgasm from the hand, the neck, the back, even the teeth indeed anywhere in the body. ‘
So if women have more orgasmic potential then men why are so many women encountering problems experiencing orgasm? Indeed the so-called ‘orgasm gap’ has been well documented with research from the Kinsey Institute showing that whilst gay and straight men climax around 85% of the time during sex, women having sex with women orgasm about 75% of the time and women having sex with men come last at just 63%.
The answer to the orgasm gap is no doubt a multifaceted one, but it is certain that lack of orgasm can pose a problem for many women. Mal explains that ‘the issue of inability to achieve female orgasm is not connected to anatomical matters instead it connected with the negative emotions. Orgasm can travel to different parts of the body depending on how open the orgasmic pathway is. If the orgasmic pathway is blocked, and an example of why this might happen is, because someone has shut their heart because she has been hurt by a partner cheating on her, then her heart will be blocked and then it will be very difficult for her to have a full body orgasm because the energy will not flow through the heart chakra to the crown. The energy would stop at the heart chakra because she is heart broken.’’ He continued to explain that ‘’orgasm is a relative thing. It can happen in any part of the body and in different strengths.’’
In order to understand how women can experience orgasms throughout their bodies and how they have more orgasmic potential then men, we must understand that women are more emotionally connected. They are connected strongly and receptive to both positive and negative emotions and it is their connectedness to positive emotions that gives them a stronger capacity for orgasm. However, women can become blocked very easily by negative emotions and this in turn can block their ability to orgasm.
Mal Weeraratne explains that ‘women can have many different types of orgasm and from any part of their body, even from the tips of their teeth or from their fingertips. This is possible because an orgasm is movement of positive energy throughout the body. This positive energy is created when a woman gets excited or aroused and it starts moving around the body formulating the orgasmic wave that a woman feels as they have an orgasm. This energy movement could result in a full body orgasm or just a genital orgasm, similarly a woman may experience an orgasm in the pelvic area or in the throat, heart or any other part of her body; as the orgasm can travel around a woman’s body, depending upon how open her energetic pathways are’’.
So, it seems that negative emotions, blocks and trauma held in the body can prevent a woman from achieving her full orgasmic potential and that if a woman is attuned to positive emotions, it gives her an orgasmic potential and it is her retention and ability to be affected by negative emotions that in turn blocks her emotions.
It seems in our modern society we are still learning the true miracle of sexual energy and to move away from chasing the orgasm in favour of becoming totally orgasmic. This is our true nature and instead of women worrying about achieving orgasm in the bedroom they should be seeking to release negative emotions and become orgasmic in life.
Mal Weeraratne, the founder of Tantric Journey, School of Healing & Awakening offers treatments for women which include a yoni massage. If you are interested in finding out more about Mal’s work and Tantric Journey, please visit the website here.