There are hundreds of different sexual positions that a couple can try, and many different tips and hints on how to have mind blowing sex with your partner. But the foreplay is so important and often overlooked. For women to become aroused is a different process to men, and they might need different techniques to get them fully warmed up and ready for that amazing sexual experience.
If you learn how to give your partner a mind blowing erotic massage, not only will it result in a fantastic sexual encounter for both of you, but it shows your partner that you really care about her pleasure. You will give her the erotic massage of her life and then the orgasm of her life.
There are so many benefits to taking the time to learn how to give your partner an erotic massage. The stresses of daily life, feelings of disconnect between partners, and even physical aches and pains in the body can have a big impact on a couple’s sexual relationship.
For a women to be able to cum there needs to be a lot of elements working in her favour. And for a man trying to give pleasure to his partner it can seem complicated and sometimes impossible. But that is not the case. Follow the tips below and you will create a whole new level of intimacy and pleasure for both you and that special lady in your life.
1. Set the Mood
Now this is a very important first step, but it does not need to cost a lot or take much time to set up. You want your partner to feel relaxed and ready to let go and allow you to touch her beautiful body. There has to be no distractions – I am sure you will agree there is absolutely nothing worse than being interrupted when you are about to reach an orgasm.
Turn off the TV and put your phones on silent in a different room. A sensual massage doesn’t have to last the longest time, but if you make your partner feel that for those minutes you are giving them your 100% undivided attention, that is a turn on already.
Now think about what your partner likes. Does she like fresh flowers? Or candles? You want, where possible, the light in the room to be a bit dimmed, but if that’s not possible you can always try and bring in a lamp from another room and cover it with something similar to red or orange clothing (ensuring it does not get too hot and set on fire) to change the colours in the room.
Next is the music. There are plenty of sexy playlists available online such as on youtube or on spotify, or stick to some soft instrumental music not being played too loud.
Finally, think about the things you are going to use for the massage. Oil is an absolute must although there are many different types to choose from. If you head down to your local sex or adult shop they will have lots of different scented oils specially just for massage. And think, does your wife have sensitive skin? If you think she might then buy one for people with sensitive skin and you know she will be happy before during and even after the massage.
Where is your partner going to lay? If the bed is big enough, put down a clean soft towel for her to lie on. If there isn’t space in the bedroom then you can use the floor or a big surface as long as you put something soft down for her to lie on. Be creative and set the scene. She will be so grateful even before the massage has started how much effort you have made for her.
2. Introducing Your lady
Okay, so you have done all the hard work and set up a beautiful massage space. When your lady comes in you should show her quickly what is there, and tell her you are going to give her a sensual body massage. Most times the lady will want to be naked, but she should wear whatever makes her feel most comfortable so she is able to relax. Show her the oils you are going to use and put on the music and dim the lights. Remind her how beautiful and sexy you find her and let her know that this whole massage is just for her, and you will both be focusing on her pleasure for the next few minutes.
Remember that women tend to me far more sensory than men when it comes to sensual and sexual pleasure. She will enjoy hearing the compliments and hearing what you plan to do for and to her.
3. The Massage
Now we get on to the techniques of the massage. It is easier to understand how to do something when we see it in action, so watch this handy video to see an example of a sensual massage.
There are several different techniques to use and you can practice them and get better each time, and you will work out what your partner really likes.
Okay first we are going to start with effleurage, which means light and gentle touches to get the blood circulating round the body. This prepares the body for deeper touches later on.
And remember, after this sensual massage you are going to have some mind-blowing sex. The clitoris and parts of the vagina once aroused will swell up with blood, and if you are circulating the blood round the body using the effleurage technique, that means more blood circulates and engorges the vagina, making it more sensitive.
Once the body is warmed you can try different techniques such as kneading.
Using your thumb and fingertips, you’ll take the muscle tissue between them and squeeze at varying intervals. This is excellent for larger muscles, such as those found in the thighs, upper arms, and buttocks.
Another technique is percussion, where you use swift chopping motions. This technique may not seem very sexy, but it will get deeper into the tissue and make the blood really flow.
We would recommend setting a timer for when the massage will end, for example after 30 minutes. That way, you know how much time you have left, and you could build on the intimacy of the massage as time goes on. Also, then your partner knows when her wonderful time will end – she can’t expect you to massage her all night.
Now this is totally dependent on each couple, but you may be wondering when does the sex bit start? Or even should it? Basically you have told your lady that you are only spending this time on her for her pleasure, so you should do what she wants. If at the end you start insisting on having sex, this may make her feel that you were only giving her a sensual massage just so you could have sex at the end. It may be that she is so relaxed and happy that she will not want sex afterwards and that is okay.
If you bring in a date night, or a sensual massage regularly into your relationship, even if her sex drive is lower she is going to start feeling a lot more connected to you and sex should naturally start increasing. Maybe you do a few massages before you have sex.
But either way, after that sensual massage, and when you learn tips on how to give your woman the orgasm of her life, even making her squirt, she is going to want that mind-blowing sex all the time.
Author: Alex and Laura
We are couple, each year we help over men and women learn how to have a more exciting, pleasurable and fulfilling sex life. This is our passion, and nothing makes us more happy than hearing all the amazing stories from our fans who got their ‘diploma in a wild sex life.’